From Hoarding to Joy

I use to have the hardest time letting things go. I held on bc of lack and scarcity mindset. Fear kept me stuck. 

10 years ago when I was going through a divorce and moving out of the house we shared, I first had to face all I accumulated. The basement literally looked like it was out of the tv show Hoarders. It was completely representative of how I’d lived. Faking the appearance of having things together, but with all the hard stuff shoved down deep, bursting at the seams, to deal with later. 

When I was little, I vividly remember the feeling of having my beloved giant teddy bear thrown away without my knowledge. That feeling of loss and not being in control felt so disempowering. I believe that was the moment I started tying the things with emotions and the fear of loss started running the show. 

As a kid I didn’t know how to organize. I certainly didn’t have a place for everything. I cleaned mb shoving things in over flowing drawers, boxes and under the bed. It was definitely more to do with my over accumulation than upbringing. People around me had excellent organizational skills. I also saw them able to let things go more easily than me. I didn’t feel envious of their ability. I felt sad for them. I truly believed they would have regrets later and there was no going back after loss. 

Throughout this time I had an incredibly low sense of self worth and suffered at the mercy of having no control over my emotions or eating. 

I got to a place in my life where I’d manifested true long term illness, physical and mental. I had a poor quality of life sick with autoimmune issues, on 13 prescriptions with anxiety and depression (stuck at home self medicating) for such a long time. 

By the time I was getting divorced, I had been on a healing journey, off all the medications and taking care of myself. I was coming out of the fog and on the path toward my passion for helping others. But I didn’t have the awareness or tools to deal with all the “stuff”. So instead of dealing with it, I did what I conditioned myself to do for coping and protection purposes and shoved it all in a storage unit... to go through later. 

In the meantime I was studying at the Healing Arts Center and really doing the inner work. So when it came time to move to Chicago in 2011, I was better equipped to go through it. Excited to have a garage sale and start a new life, I went through it all. But it wasn’t easy. I actually remember it being incredibly painful. A lot of things that I wasn’t ready to process yet got put into boxes and stored in my grandmas basement. I took extra boxes with me too. When we moved 2 years later there were still boxes I hadn’t re-opened. 

At that time my soul dog Izzy had just passed the week we were set to move. I was facing loss in a bigger way than ever. It changed the way I looked at life. That’s when I started talking to angels and was aware of them talking to me. The signs were everywhere. I was also in a place of deep grief and not ready to go through the boxes. So we moved them again. 

A few months later I started my first healthy purging with a plan and mindset tools on my side. I remember finding a box clearly marked in big bold Sharpie “NOT NOW MAYBE LATER.” And I couldn’t stop laughing as that had beautifully summed up my old life and mindset. And I went through it. All of it. It wasn’t an easy process for me. Especially letting go of my soul dog’s things. But it was freeing and healing. I confirmed who I really was and how far I had come. I faced my past and let go with gratitude, in order to allow my external to mirror my internal once again. My home now matched the beautiful spiritual place I had worked to get to. 

As I drove to drop off the card load of donations, I saw sign after sign after sign that I was on the right path. And I also had a sudden influx of abundance. It all happened so fast. And I knew then there was no going back, only forward. I had followed my guidance and was celebrating my freedom with my team Above. 

Not long after a friend gifted me Marie Kondo’s book The Magical Art of Tidying Up and I went through my clothes and things I had decided to save and had another sudden downsize. I let go of over half my books and clothes. I was no longer making decisions from a place of fearand lack.

When I moved a couple years later, I purged again. This time it wasn’t hard. And it hasn’t been since. Not to say it hasn’t been exhausting or even stressful, but I could let go and loved how it felt when the project was complete. 

I find myself naturally guided to go through my home before each business launch, getting my external realigned with my internal. As I’m launching a new Lightworker program, I saw Marie Kondo’s show suggested on Netflix and it came as a beautiful sign from Above. After watching some of the episodes, I had a conversation with my home and have been doing the same with each room. It’s been a completely feminine ritualistic experience talking to the space and touching each item. Connecting with that place of joy and gratitude. Easily letting go with love. Beautifully and easily finding a space for what’s staying. It’s been a completely joyful experience connecting with all these things that light me up and saying goodbye to what doesn’t. 

I didn’t think I would have much to let go of. It was just a few months ago before my last launch that I cleaned out every closet and junk drawer. But to my delight, I’m stripping away more layers. It feels amazing. 

All of this came up looking at my profile pic from 10 years ago. Remembering where I was... moving out of a house and into a storage unit. I love that I look back on the past now and instead of feeling pain, I am filled with gratitude for the journey home. I love where I am and couldn’t have done it without support. The helpers I had along the way showing me how to release and holding me when I couldn’t. I’m forever grateful. 

When I was connecting with my things this weekend I realized that spark of joy when something is aligned is the exact same feeling I get when connecting with my team Above. It’s a light giddy all is right in the world feeling. I can hardly believe I’m so blessed to help others get to that feeling too. Pinch me. Is this real life!?!?

I’m going to share the story of my first dramatic signs from Above and how it changed my life in the free call this Sunday. I’ll share my process for connecting and help you figure out your own unique way of communicating with your team too. Through my programs I’ve helped hundreds of people connect with clarity, direction and joy simply by following divine guidance. So if you’re being guided this way, if you want to spark more joy in your life, if you want your external to match your internal... follow the signs.

CLICK HERE to sign up for the free call: Signs from Above.